The Grass Is Greener...

...wherever you water it (and pull the weeds).

People often make the mistake of thinking that "the grass is greener on the other side." I know that I have been guilty of having that mentality in the past. I read a quote once that said the "grass is greener wherever you water it." That has really stuck with me...I added in the pulling the weeds part. Our life is definitely a garden. It requires (daily) maintenance, it requires patience, it requires pulling the weeds and nurturing the flowers. It is work. It is beautiful.

The pics are a glimpse of my actual garden which basically reflects where I am at. Looks like I need to do some serious weeding : )


On Monday, I am starting a 4 week boot camp program in our Fitness Studio that my sis-in-law, Monica, has put together. I am nervous and excited, but more than anything I am ready to reclaim feeling powerful.

My Kid

I've told Rob many times that if having kids together isn't in the cards for us (obviously praying for it to be in the cards) that I would really love 5 more of these. I LOVE my doggy.

Never Alone

The good news is that I ordered a laptop yesterday and will have it sometime next week! The bad news is it's hard to find internet service in the "back woods." But, sounds like it's between basic DSL through AT&T and Cricket. Going to do some further investigating. Once I have that in place I feel like I'll be better connected. I can blog and keep in touch with my people!

Been spending a lot of time with family the past few weeks... and holy babies! There are a lot of new babies in my life right now and I can't believe how unraveled I feel. The truth is I just haven't been spending the time with the one who makes everything better...and that always shows by how I feel inside. I have felt so anxious and worried, lots of fear circulating around in there! I found a one year bible at my parents and took it home and on the 4th of July started reading it. I learned that you don't even have to understand it for the magic to begin. Where I started is complicated and has all those names of who belongs to who. But, each night before bed I make myself read. Little things have began occurring and I won't write them all, but one that made me cry yesterday was this...we had a new client come in the salon and she filled out the new client form. There is a spot at the bottom to write who referred them...and the lady wrote that she knew my Grandma. She did not know that I was related (of course I told her once I saw what she wrote)...but seeing my Grandma's name on that line literally made me cry. I told the lady it was just so nice to see my Grandma's name. After she walked away I felt this presence ... it was quiet, and I just felt Her. I knew without a doubt that little moment was a gift from God. A little nudge to let me know that I am not alone with my feelings of sadness. I am never alone.

Recipe For a Happy Home

"Begin with love and lots of caring. Add some trust, enough for sharing. You'll need forgiveness to make it right and plenty of laughter to keep it light.

Stir in some patience to bind it together. With understanding it holds even better. Add hugs and I love yous wherever you will, then pour on some praise but don't overfill.

Stir very lightly, leave room to grow. Don't bother with lumps, they won't even show. Spread on the topping of genuine pleasure. Your happy home will be a treasure forever."

Thank you Kathleen for the beautiful plate, it's located on the wall next to Grandma's hutch. It contains a recipe that I will always keep close to my heart.
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I've always wondered when I would finally "feel like a woman." Like when will I actually not feel like such a kid anymore?! I am 31 after all... I thought maybe once I had kids the shift would happen, but actually I figured it out this week. Feeling like a woman is when you cook dinner for your family (most nights) and keep the house in good operating condition. I feel organized, I feel "together," I feel that yes I CAN actually cook after all. Damn...I feel like a woman! Ha!

Pet Cemetery

One part of living on "the farm" (just wondering...does there need to be cows and pigs to call it a farm?)that I will never get used to is that the animals will die. There are SO many cats. My mom affectionately calls all of them "Momma Kitty." One day, a cat rounded the corner and my mom yells out "Grandma Kitty!" I thought we were all going to pass out from laughter. I had never heard her call any of them anything other than "Momma Kittys". But, apparantly Grandma Kitty is the one who started it all. Myself and the kids like to name the cats...there is Lion Kitty, Precious, Randy, Chloe, etc. But, the problem is that once you name a cat anything other than "Momma Kitty" you become attached.

One of the cats on the property, Frankie, has been sick for a few weeks. Not eating, not moving much. Last night Frankie died in our backyard at Grandma's house (I might always refer to the house as Grandma's house). I was so upset all night about it. 36 acres of land and he chooses our backyard. I kept waking up throughout the night thinking about him laying out there. Today, my Dad buried him. We have a true pet cemetery on the property. There are horses, cats, dogs, birds. Any "pet" that has ever died on the land has been given a proper buriel.

When an animal dies I immediatly feel like a little kid again. It's always like experiencing death for the first time for me. It's hard to shake.

Rest in peace, Frankie.

We're In!

Hard to believe that as of tomorrow night we'll already be living in Grandma's house for 1 week. It's been a busy, yet really enjoyable week. I feel like "my cup overfloweth!"

We wrapped up all the moving and cleaning efforts at our other house on Wednesday. It was nice to be done with that part. Now we can focus on where we're at. Our renters moved in yesterday and we are now officially landlords!

I have somehow fell in love with the kitchen during this whole process. I suddenly (and magically, I swear) care about collecting recipes...and actually doing something with them. Ha! You'd have to really know me to understand how HUGE this is. I feel so expanded living at this house. More capable of maintaining a home or something. I guess it all has to do with desire...desire that I didn't really have all that much before. The dishwasher at Grandma's is broken and we're going to get a new one eventually. In the meantime I have been washing some serious dishes. And, I don't even mind that. I guess it doesn't hurt that I have an amazing view to look out as I am washing. Washing and thinking. There is something to be said about getting back to the basics. I have noticed that time extends when you are doing things the long way.

We do have t.v now! And, the beauty is that it's basic t.v so no t.v bill. I don't even think we'll need more than that. We have so much we can do at our new place that having 800 channels doesn't even seem appealing anymore. Plus, we're used to no t.v...so having 30 channels is like a dream : )! I've always thought all the good shows were on "regular t.v" anyway...so we won't be missing much.

I'm looking forward to getting everything organized. There is much to do, but I am loving it and now that we're just there I can take my time with it and get everything "just so."

Looking forward to the beautiful weather (upper 80's) that we will be having all weekend.

It feels so good to be excited about life again. I find Grandma and Grandpa's home to be very healing. Grandma spent time with Jesus every single morning in that house and I can feel that. There is definitely spirit there. I know that I can't just expect to have all the benefits of her prayers there though. I need to make my own way. I'm looking forward to spending quiet time with Him before each day begins just as she did. I saw how that really enabled her to maintain peace throughout her life regardless of what was happening around her. I have so much to thank Him for. So much.

2 More Days (not that I'm counting)

Only 2 more nights at our current house and it's off to Grandma's we go! I have been feeling really excited about life lately. Not just because something new is happening, but because when I look around at all that is in my life...I just really like what I see. There is so much left to do, but I don't even feel an ounce of stress about it. They are redoing the main road in our town and people are so bothered by the work that is happening (and I've had a few mornings where I was ready to just drive over the cones rather than going around them...I am no saint), but the point of me telling this is that getting to the good stuff in life is like the repaving of that road...the work, the struggle, the frustration has to happen in order to get to the end result. The road is not going to become magically new and beautiful overnight while we're all sleeping soundly in our beds. I am choosing to focus on the end result...the hope for the future...rather than the stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I feel that I am learning so much these days. I feel like a sponge for goodness. I am soaked in it. My main goal in my lifetime is to learn how to remain peaceful, to stay centered and focused on God, in the midst of the stuff I'd rather skip over. Thank God I don't have a fast forward button.