Happy Anniversary to my blog!!! I'll always remember that I started this blog on Mother's Day of 2009 because that was a really hard day for me. It helped me to sponsor a child as a way to honor Faith's existence on that day last year. There were many things I did to "heal" myself after our loss, but the main two are that I deepened my relationship with the Lord and the other is just plain old time. Yes, time does heal.
Time passing does not equal forgetting. Time passing doesn't mean you aren't changed on the inside. Time passing doesn't mean you are "over it" ... whatever your "it" is.
But, time passing is healing if you are focused on the healing and not the disappointment at the cards that have been dealt. I think the fact that I always let myself feel my feelings has finally paid off...I am happy to report that I was not even a little sad yesterday. It was like night and day compared to how I felt at this exact time last year.
Right now I am feeling excited and hopeful about our life. I am finally not thinking about the baby subject and really haven't been the past few months (and you know what they say...when you aren't thinking about it then BAM!)...I am wrapped up in this great house project (which is totally energizing me). I am focused on creating an oasis for us. I never felt like the house we live in now was home. Mainly because there is no room to grow as a family in that house. There was always something symbolic to me about that fact. But now, now there is room for so much...future children, family parties, sleepovers with CJ & Alyssa, Emily can even have her friends over on the weekends!
I really do feel complete even though there is "lack" in my life. Focusing on what you do have is really powerful. I am blessed with a loving husband, family, and friends. I'm on the verge of having this home that reflects all that I love. I am thankful for all that is and all that will be.
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