Hope

It's always sad when Christmas comes to an end. We enjoyed a nice Christmas this year. I felt really relaxed, mainly because of the early preparation.
Christmas Eve Rob had to be at work at 3AM to plow.We were planning to "pretend" that Christmas Eve was Christmas morning since Emily was with us and wouldn't be for the real Christmas morning (we alternate each year), but with Rob working we had to patiently wait for him to return home to open our presents. CJ and Alyssa came and spent the morning with us and as always that was a fun time. I love having kids in the house.

Christmas Eve night we went to Rob's parents and celebrated there. Christmas morning, we made breakfast and brought it to my parents. Then, Rob and I went to a movie! I have never ever been anywhere but with family on Christmas...but, we decided to take a little break from the action. I cannot believe how many people go to the movies on Christmas Day! We saw "Did You Hear About the Morgans." It was cute. Not amazing, but definitely cute. Then, Rob went to get Emily and we spent the rest of the evening at my parents.

Yesterday and today have been chillax. I am loving it. I promised not to make our time off overly busy. I want to feel as renewed as possible going into the New Year. Tomorrow, is my mom (and Alyssa's) birthday. I am going to spend the day with mom...doing what we love to do...hitting up our favorite store ever(Marshalls), a few quaint little shops, and then we'll top that off with Chili's for lunch. Yum! I can taste the chips and salsa just thinking about it. I'm making her (and my) favorite cake from scratch...no boxes this year, baby! Red Velvet Cake from The Pioneer Woman's cookbook. Then, it's back to work (reality) on Tuesday.

I don't know about you, but doesn't the year 2010 sound absolutely exciting!!! I can feel that this is going to be a gigantic year for us. I am remaining hopeful. This morning during our Sunday coffee drive (my favorite part of every week), I told Rob that the seasons are such a great analogy for life itself. Winter is hard, but there is also beauty in it (like the fact that I am looking at the snow fall out the window as I type this)...you just have to look for the beauty. But, the thing that makes winter the absolute best is the thought of summer. The hopefulness and the expectancy that summer will eventually come. If you get through the winter, you can get to the summer. And, that pretty much sums up how I feel about my life right now. If I can get through the winter (the struggle/the pain) by finding beauty in the winter (the struggle) as well as remember that summer (goodness) will eventually come...then, all can be well. And, you're definitely going to want to find the beauty in your winters because in case you haven't noticed...the winters are always much longer than the summers! Interesting, don't you think.

I regret to inform you...

What an action packed week this has been! Monday we made dinner for Rob's parents and had them over so that they could see our house decorated for Christmas. Tuesday, I went out with my great friend, Amber (someday, I'll have to write an entire chapter about that cool girl). Wednesday, Rob's dad really wanted to make chili so we went over and ate it for him (ha!). Thursday, we went to a dinner for my chamber and then to Emily's Christmas concert at school. Tonight, I am heading out to see White Christmas at Genesee Theater. I have been wanting to go there since it re-opened and am excited to finally have the opportunity! Definitely an action-packed week, but December is just that kind of month. I have loved every bit of it, but I am exhausted.

My parents are out of town for a short visit to see my Nanny (my Mom's mom) in Michigan, so we're back on animal duty-too! Tonight, I got their mail and there was a card addressed to my Grandma. It made me very sad to think that she has a friend out there who doesn't even know she died. Reading the card quickly snapped me back into reality. In all my busyness, what I have loved was being with my people. Because that is all that matters when it comes down to it...your people. I came home and wrote out a Christmas card to Grandma's friend, Rosalie, who lives in Indiana but, who apparently grew up with her here based on some things she wrote in the card. My letter started with, I regret to inform you ...
...that my Grandma went to be with Jesus on October 3rd.

In all the rush and chaos of the season, I received the gift of a pause. A moment that sat me down to remember what this CHRISTmas season is all about.

Embracing the Season

This year I am embracing the season! I have heard numerous times that the first Christmas without a loved one is terrible, but I have to admit that Grandma's passing has changed me in so many ways... for the better. Not necessarily noticeable ways that the outside world could detect. These changes are inside of me. I feel that when Grandma passed that I received a gift. I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it involves God's love and a peaceful heart (something I don't feel my heart has ever been). This is not to say that I don't miss her terribly. My Aunt Margie gave me Grandma's Daily Guidepost book for this year. Grandma loved reading those stories each day. When she was dying, we read them to her. I am so happy to have the last one that she was reading because I get how important that book was. For those of you that aren't familiar with it, it's a book that has a bible verse and little story for each day of the year...it helps you to start your day with God. Which is something that my Grandmother did her entire life.

I am actually more excited about Christmas this year then I have been since I was a child. I'm realizing how important and special traditions are...how they give you something to hold on to. The dynamics of a family change with each passing year. New traditions have to be made and I am excited to be in a position to create memories for my own little family. Emily has had her own (small) tree in her room since I came into her life. I bought ornaments and a purple tree skirt for it and she is so excited each year to decorate that tree. I feel proud because that was something I could give her. I also bought her a miniature nativity scene and each year that we bring it out we talk about the story of the birth of Christ. We also have a snowman that has the Christmas countdown on his belly. So each day that Emily is over she changes the number and announces to us how many days are left til' Christmas. These are moments that she will remember fondly. With each moment that I intentionally create for Emily, I think about my Grandma and how she was always doing that...creating moments for a little girl that would someday grow up and have her own family. Little did I know at the time that she was filling up my tank of things to hold on to. So much to hold on to.