Waiting 4 Inspiration

This weekend I purchased new cleaning supplies in hopes that I would become inspired to clean our home. Overall, it's clean. But, what I was looking to do was deep clean. You know spring cleaning, though it sure doesn't feel like spring ... which is why I think that I am struggling majorly!

My life is lacking that extra "umpf." My life energy is waaaay down!

I continue to learn that inspiration is not going to swoop down, miraculously, and save me. Inspiration is something to move towards. You have to meet it.

So, I grabbed my newest addition to the cleaning product family ... Spot Shot and tackled every spot on the carpet. I love my puppy, but she has not been good for the living room floor. Inspiration has started (very slowly) moving through my veins.

Next up ... mopping all the floors with my new Mr. Clean febreze freshness cleaner (lavender and vanilla scented)!

So just remember (as I continue to remind myself) ... if you're looking to become inspired, just begin. Just start moving. Don't wait to feel like moving. Once you start moving, you'll feel like it. You just will.

Waiting 4 inspiration is like waiting for someone to deliver a cheeseburger that you didn't order. Waiting 4 inspiration is like waiting for a bus to come in the middle of a cornfield. Waiting 4 inspiration is very depressing. I'm not waiting anymore.

Good Friday

Life has been quite challenging, lately. The weather has been symbolic of all that I've been feeling ... rainy, sunless, dark, cold. I actually have been thinking of seeing someone like a counselor, someone to talk through some of these feelings. But, that door keeps being closed in interesting ways. I'm trying not to read too much into that and stay open to encountering the right person to talk to. Meantime, I continue to go to Him. Molly has been a blessing in that I get up before 6am every morning (she demands it). I make my coffee, put it in a pretty mug, and sit down with my daily devotional. It's funny how you would think this time with the Lord would make everything better ... I thought that is what it would do. But, I've been feeling worse and I know in my heart it's because unresolved issues are being brought to light that I need to deal with. He's not punishing me, He's saving me from myself. It truly hurts to grow in the Lord. He's doing a big work in me and I know that if I stay close to Him someday I will be on the other side of a lot of these feelings.
Today, is yet another dreary weather day. And, I don't feel up to par. However, in honor of Jesus who died for our sins on this day - I am choosing to be joyful, whatever it takes. This life is a gift, there are so many blessings as I look around. I will not be defeated. Thank you, Jesus, for your coming and going.

Is God aloof from human pain
That ravages our mortal frame?
Oh, no, Christ felt our agony
When sin and death He overcame! - D.De Haan

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

Life Without T.V?

Molly pup is getting bigger by the day. You would think I couldn't see her growing since I see her so much, but having Roxy to compare her to makes it really easy to tell. Molly and Roxy literally stand up on their back legs and proceed to push each other around with their front legs. Picture bears fighting! It's a morning and evening routine that they have with each other. It's actually very entertaining. I left work, this evening, and called Rob on my way home. I could tell he was really upset. He said I would see why when I got home. The dogs wrestled right into our beautiful big screen t.v, knocked it to the ground, and ruined it. There's a dent which has ruined the picture completely. It looks psychedelic. If I wanted to, I could turn it on right now and at least hear who is getting the boot on American Idol, but I think that would just depress Rob. It's an expensive t.v, we bought it 2 Christmas's ago - our gift to each other. It was the only t.v that we own.

To be honest, tonight I don't care. It's just a t.v. We don't have anything beyond basic t.v so it's not like we're getting charged for having service. We don't watch all that much t.v. (mostly because we have less than ten channels). Emily will miss playing Donkey Kong on Wii, I'm sure.

This t.v thing is the least of my worries, tonight. And, that is all I can muster.

I figured if I at least wrote something that maybe it would propel me into writing more. I sure miss it. I feel disconnected without it.

So, there it is... we have no t.v. - my grand entrance back into the blogging world.

The funny thing is when I walked in the door tonight they were the same as always...so happy to see me, smiling away - having no idea what they even did. I don't know what I expected ... to find them in the corner with their heads down and those sad, sad eyes? Or better yet at Wal-Mart pushing a cart to the front counter that contained an even bigger t.v ;)