Live While I'm Alive

Who knew that I would get my most recent bout of inspiration from none other than... a Bon Jovi concert!!! This past Thursday I spent the day at Summerfest and attended the Bon Jovi concert that evening. It was awesome! He is still rockin' it hard. The coolest part was the energy that he created which transferred to the crowd. It's true that there are many bad things happening all over the world, but during that 2 1/2 hours thousands of people were happily gathered to hear some cool lyrics ... such as:
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive (hence today's blog title)

The rest of the weekend was spent on the beloved Phantom. For 4 days straight I did not do any of the following:
-put in or transfer laundry
-put dishes in the dishwasher
-sweep the dog hair off of the floor
-make our bed
-take a shower (ha! just kidding...seeing if you're paying attention)

I did do the following:
-laughed like I haven't laughed in years
-got a nice tan (and like a million more freckles)
-ate at really cool places along the lake (fish tacos, anyone?)
-lost a cool headband that flew off of my head because we were going so fast
-imagined dying a few times as we jumped waves (and actually felt really happy that if I did die it would be on a perfect day)
-decided that I want to get another tattoo (a Faith tattoo to be exact)

I completely unplugged and if you know me at all - that is near impossible (by my own fault).

I am someone who tries to consciously live my life. So, the moment we lost the baby I went into "I have to heal myself mode." I did all the 'right' things...read amazing books, wrote a letter to the hospital for closure in regards to things that happened there, found comforting blogs to read, talked to friends and family in depth about my feelings, cried a ton, talked myself out of dressing Roxy in the babies clothes (so not joking here),let myself feel all of the pain (ouch), and most importantly got to know God for who He really is (can we say, AWESOME). This weekend I had a serious aha moment! It was Sunday, we had started the morning by going to church as a family. That went well. Emily loved it!!! Rob enjoyed it-too. I could also tell he was relieved that Emily dug it. But, if you knew her - you'd know she is down for whatever whenever. Just like her Dad. They make it so easy ... anyway, back to the moment. Rob and I were boating with two of his buddies and we docked to take a potty break. Him and I ran to the washrooms while the others held the boat (it's a lot of work to tie that sucker up). As were were headed for relief, I was bubbling over with happiness...scratch that...I was bubbling over with JOY. Rob told me he has never seen me laugh so much. I told him that I felt HEALED. You see, the one thing that I forgot to put on my "how to correctly heal after loss" list was to HAVE FUN.