Footprints on my Heart

The first day of a brand new year, how exciting!

New Year's Day will always tug quietly at my heart. I celebrate two birthday's for Faith...today was supposed to be her earthly birthday. She would be one. But, instead she was born at 21 weeks on August 22nd, 2008, which I consider to be her heavenly birthday. Somehow she got a pass from all of this earthly business and I spent the past year trying not to question and instead turning to God. And, you know what? HE provides. HE is a great BIG God. He knows I am both a torn up mess inside, but in the midst of that mess is a beautiful strength that I would never have known without having lost her. So, I guess you could say that I am a beautiful mess. And, I am so okay with that.

If you look closely you will see
tiny footprints on my heart
from a little girl that saved me.

(the footprints in the picture are Faith's - my angel at the hospital, Liz, stamped her feet for us and told us that she had perfect feet - I agree)!

You might find this interesting (I sure do). I found a journal entry that I had written right before I became pregnant with Faith. I wrote intensely about how I wanted to have real Faith in my life. Unwavering, full throttle Faith. Struggles, yes...but, with those struggles the ability to contain joy and peace in my heart because of that deep Faith in the Lord. Since I wrote that...a baby came, and a baby went...a Grandma lived and a Grandma died. And, both of there comings and goings have given me something valuable...not a fragile valuable, but a strong valuable. You might think, "wow, I better be careful what I pray for!" But, don't ever think that way...because God always sends something better. I am waiting expectantly and hopefully on my better, but in the meantime I am enjoying the quiet comfort I find in the Lord.